Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.
– Nathaniel Branden
We live in a country where everyone wants to have more self-esteem,
or confidence, in themselves. And we measure our confidence in
ourselves by what other people reveal to us about ourselves, in how
they talk to us or act around us. In effect, we determine our value by
how other people value us–and then decide whether or not we hold
ourselves in "high esteem". This doesn’t make sense to me. How can we
see and judge our own selves by the reflection we see in another’s
eyes? Don’t we realize that the way people see the world is firstly a
reflection of how they see themselves? So if someone values us, it is
in direct relation to what they perceive to be valuable; not what we
consider to be important. In the end, we are seeing ourselves not
through an objective lens, but through the subjective haze of someone
else’s personality. This should not be.
Instead, we should focus more on the values we have in and of
life, thereby creating our own paradigms for judging if we have high
enough esteem in ourselves. How we esteem ourselves is in direct
relation to the reputation we have of ourselves. This will entail many
moments of honest reflection throughout our lives and hopefully we
will actually be able to take the time to do so.