Senseless Anger

What is it about having your period that makes you strange?  The
week before my period I’m nostalgic and weepy–a cute commercial will
find me with tears welling up in my eyes.  But for some reason, the
week of I get touchy.  Case in point (b/c one of my pet peeves is  when
people say stuff and never give examples), my crush crosses my mind
often during the course of the day’s activities.  Nothing
big–sometimes I just see his face or I wonder what he’s doing–he just
pops up.  However, this frequent “popping up” pissed the snot out of me
earlier on this week.  I wanted to punch him senseless!

I was hot–just straight up hot about the facts that I
1) think so much of him
2) like him
3) have dreamt about us being married (never with any other guy)
4) can’t have him
5) have a hard time getting him out of my mind
6) don’t understand how i fell for him
7) disgusted that i still care for him (after at least 4 months of openly liking him)
8) wish I were prettier so he would like me back (though that
would utterly complicate matters, but again, emotions don’t always make
sense)

Okay.  So none of this is his fault.  He doesn’t even recognize
these 8 facts.  If he does have an inkling that I like him, he’s never
shown it to me.  He doesn’t like me like that and even if he does, he
doesn’t know what to do with it and will never actually say anything
about it. 
Okay.  Again.  Doesn’t change the facts.  I wish I didn’t like him and I just got so ridiculously heated about
this!  If he had never moved into my neighborhood with his restaurant,
I would never have gotten to know him as well as I do now.  Even if the
restaurant came, if he never showed up, I would still be okay–but
NOOO, the man had to be up in my hood, with an Indian restaurant
nonetheless (and we all know how much I like Indian food), be horribly
attractive and make my heart happy to be around him!  Ooooooooh, that
just pissed the snot out of me (would explain the increase in sneezing,
blowing my nose and being phlegmy).

Okay.  Again.  Again.  Does any of this make rational logical
Spock-like sense?  No, because I was on my period.  And when I’m on my
period I feel strangely.  Don’t get it twisted!  This does not in
anyway hamper my skills as a human, a physician, a whatever–for all
those men who think all women should be locked up and guarded closely
during their menstrual cycle–it merely means that I don’t always
understand what or even the force of the emotions I am having.

Okay.  Again.  Again.  Again.  Did I say I
hate liking someone I can’t have?  Hmmm, here’s to unrequited
love!  Again.
Okay. Again.  Again.  Againa.  Again.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
SIGH

About papillion

Intense Often Moody Transparent Exquisitely sensitive Animated Never satisfied Curious Eternal Romantic Creative Devotedly Christian Encouraging Multi-layered Loving Quick Judge Critical Forever evolving View all posts by papillion

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