Soooo let’s see, I woke up this morning tachycardic and tachypnic (aka heart running fast and breathing quickly). This must not be a normal occurence for me to even mention it you might say–and you would be correct in your assumption. I don’t abruptly wake up from sleep tachy unless I am experiencing a difficult dream sequence or have been rudely awakened from a post call dead sleep.
The reason for my unusual state of arousal is locked deep within the confines of a dream that I had–a dream that to my astonishment would not stop! The gist of the dream is as follows: I and my current Crush decided to become romantically involved. Nothing to worry about so far–but here’s the twist; his family was hunting him down because he was with me–a non Indian, non Punjabi, non Sikh woman. Hunting him down to the point where we were hiding out in different places around the city (it wasn’t Pittsburgh) in order to be safe. It got to a point where they worked it so that we “disappeared”. And like all kooky dreams I was both watching and involved. I saw people walk up these stairs in this house (they were searching for us but I was also one of the people searching) and somehow this little 1-2 year old boy was pretending to conduct an orchestra and the searchers were told to follow him. He was walking up the stairs and around a bend (the stairs were marble and the whole place was white) and then he stopped at this spot which had a handle on the floor. The police opened up the handle and pulled out my Crush and myself (though I was one of the people watching this). I was holding my Crush close to me, hugging him and his face was red from beatings inflicted on him by his family. At some point he was sitting on the floor and I was sort of lying there and he swung his legs around me and said that all he was looking for was “kindness and love” in a woman. In addition to this story there was something about us being involved in a crime (all set up by his family) but I had seen the crime and told the officers to go searching in a particular place to find the culprits–I was pleading with them. After this, my Crush said that he would have to be replaced in this holding cell where he had been because if the family came back and didn’t find him there would not be a way for the police to charge them with kidnapping and brutality.
At this point I woke up panicking because of all the violence, intrigue and drama. It was a regular Made For Lifetime movie! I started praying against it because I was just so messed up! I actually felt like it was happening to me! I tried to think of anything but that but it was (and still is) so vividly real that I couldn’t calm down. After a bit though, I was able to sleep and you know what? I fell right back into the dream sequence.
In the next scene we are at the restaurant and I am leaving with Ade and another woman. I tell my Crush that it’s my fault he’s being hounded and I have to leave him so he won’t be lost to his family. He grabs my arm as I leave to go and tells me he’ll meet me somewhere else but I look back at him and lean in to kiss him when I pull away and walk out the door knowing I will never see him again.
Now I woke up again and didn’t know what to do. While I was still sleepy, my sympathetic system was all riled up and I had nowhere to go. I couldn’t get back to sleep because of the fear/anxiety/stress of that life but I couldn’t stay up because I was so gosh darn tired! Whew. So instead of sleeping I dreamt about my Crush ALL FLIPPING NIGHT LONG! AAAAARGH!
It has been a long time since I’ve had such a vivid dream. The emotions, colors, actions and story line were too much for me. Remind me to stay away from Benadryl yall.