What to Do if You are Stuck in Infatuation
got hearts drawn all over your notebook with both your names inside.
You’ve already thought about what your children would look like and
picked out their names. You know the exact model of the car he drives
and know the shirts he wears by heart. But there’s one catch: he
doesn’t even know your name.
quite simply, is being stuck on someone. Some people mistake it for
love, and they move from relationship to relationship as soon as their
infatuation with a person wanes. Infatuation is not a bad thing in and
of itself, but it should only be temporary. Infatuation is a stage …
it should NOT be a condition. If you stay infatuated too long, you can
find that your infatuation will begin to affect your life in negative
- You felt a passionate desire to be with the person with whom you are infatuated.
- You experience the “High and Low” syndrome: mood swings depending on how the person you are infatuated with responds.
- You find yourself daydreaming about him.
- You feel a hungry feeling when you are away from him.
- You feel incomplete and lonely when he is far away.
- You need constant reassurance from him.
- Your life becomes focused on him. You may even change your life to accommodate him.
- You live in constant fear of rejection or abandonment.
- You feel a deep need for your feelings to be returned by him.
If you feel like you have been down this path
before, you know how it ends. Either you confront the guy you like
with your feelings and face his possible rejection, or you wither away
with your unresolved feelings until you can’t stand it anymore and take
steps to avoid seeing him anymore.
you easily become infatuated. You get to experience the highs that
many other more sensible people don’t get to experience. You make guys
feel special (few guys admit how flattered they feel when a member of
the opposite sex is infatuated with them), and men will find themselves
attracted to you due to your genuine enjoyment of their company.
However, you may also find yourself moving ceaselessly from one guy to
another, seeking to maintain that high. Don’t let the need for
infatuation blind you to the benefits of quieter, deeper, more enduring
intensity of infatuation naturally fades, your emotions will dampen
down. You may feel as if you have fallen out of love. Rest assured,
you haven’t … you’ve just fallen out of infatuation. The best part
is ahead. Now you will be more realistic about what you and the guy
you like have to offer one another. You’ll begin to develop deeper
intimacy based on respect and understanding of the other person. You
may discover that the solid ground of a loving relationship is better
than the high and insecurity of dating the object of your infatuation
for the first time.
- Infatuation is just a stage, NOT a condition.
- Move on. If
you’ve continually made yourself available for the guy to ask you out,
and he hasn’t yet, move on. If he liked you, he would have asked you
out already. It may be hard to face, but in 9 out of 10 cases it is
- Infatuation can be a fun rollercoaster ride, but the ultimate goal is still ahead: enduring, deep romantic love.
wears blinkers. A healthy dose of reality about the guy you are
infatuated with can go a long way in curing you … or giving you the
courage you need to be noticed by him.
- Don’t do
anything you’ll later regret. Infatuation can be an intoxication. You
may feel as if you’ll go to any lengths to win the object of your
infatuation. Take a moment to remember the cardinal rule of dating:
men like the challenge of pursuit. If you are available for the
taking, he won’t be interested.
An extremely important way to become
irresistible to men is to master your femininity. Details about this
and much, much more indispensable knowledge, such as why men need to
feel successful, is contained in my book “How to be Irresistibly
Attractive to Men.”