Is it just me or is the whole world searching for love in all the
wrong places? I recently received an email from a certain Lawrence
Windrush–a Brit who found my penpal email addy hanging out somewhere
on the internet and decided to email me. The emails he sent set my
teeth on edge.
He wrote about his in ability to find romance, his desire for long
walks on the beach and some such nonsense. Don’t get it twisted, I’m
quite the romantic; but…I hate mushy sickly-sweet cliched writing.
Okay, I’ve been known to throw around the cliches just as much as the
next aspiring e.e cummings (who probably did not throw cliches as much
as create them for unsuspecting future editors to red-ink); but man oh
man! This guys’ prose…ugh (see the following)!
of my relationships end painfully and with much heartbrake and soul
one afternoon my friends and i decided to cut the afternoons class and
spend our time walking through the very pleasant local park with its
sweeping vistas and the lake.
mournfully into the distance, she was in a long ankle length brown
dress with lots of complicated straps down the back. The long brown
hair fell in rivulets on either side of her face. I was so overcome
with a sense of longing, that overcoming my customary shyness i walked
over to her, she looked round and smiled. I noticed that she was
wearing mascara, the better to show off the colour of those eyes which
managed to be both green and blue at the same time like the sea of the
port of Havana where the onshore waters meet with the ocean.
So, my response was to tell him I couldn’t really help him, that it
sucked for him to have lost his love-o-life and proceed to ask him
about the rest of his life. I have yet to hear back from him. Did he
think that he could win my interest with mush? Did he really think
that I would sit there and read pages and pages of bad “woe-is-me”? Man, how gullible are people?
I am affronted partly b/c he thought he could type some rubbish,
send it to me and win my affection. Granted, Sir Windrush doesn’t know
me and never will, but wow…that’s just wrong…on so many levels! Wouldn’t it be awful if he were on Friendster? LOL.
Am I looking for love? Yes and no. I think I’m looking for
l’chaim. I’ve nursed a wanderlust set on the back burner for much too
long. I’ve been in medical school for too many years; watched
different classes come and go, cried myself to sleep one too many
nights, taken one too many antidepressants and loved one too many men
(unrequited of course) and now all I want to do is sit in the sun with
the waves lapping at my feet. To watch the sunrise and set as God has
ordained and be left to my own musings. While this is understandable
it is not beneficial given all that I must do in the next few months.
All that I do not want to think about.
Step II, my AI, a random grant, applying, personal statement…it’s
enough to drive any woman batty but I’m not allowed to be batty. I’m
supposed to be strong, beautiful, solid, dependable, ambitious,
hard-working, driven. Ach–yall, I’m a bit tired of being driven.
What I want is for God to reach down and for the space of the next 5
months let me sit in the sun while He does everything. Selfish? Yes.
Absolutely. And that’s just how it is yall, that’s just how it is…