So for the past couple of days I’ve been nagged by my conscious.
It’s been reminding me rather subtly that I needed to go to the
restaurant to greet Babi’s (aka the Crush) family. I don’t know
why but it’s the same nudging that occurs when I go back to C-O and I
need to visit my Iraqi family, or I need to call one of my Aunties to
let them know I’m in town. Finally, Saturday rolls around and I
pop over to the oven for a quick hello. I am greeted by large
smiles and blinging ear-rings. Surly has a diamond stud in his
left ear and his brother Tongue has one as well (not sure which
ear). I’m thinking what is going on up in this piece?
Tongue informs me rather casually that he was just talking about me
with Surly and I’m like “hunh”? He told Surly that I wouldn’t be
coming in b/c Babi wasn’t there. Hmm, okay. Then crush’s
Pops was saying that the two cousins told him that I wouldn’t be coming
in b/c Babi wasn’t there. Okaaaay. Pops says that these
boys just don’t understand–they can only see but so far. I’m
thinking he meant that they couldn’t see that I was friends with all of
them, not just with Babi–though it’s reasonable to think that I
wouldn’t show up. However, I feel that would be rude as all get
out to be there only when Babi was there, even if Babi is the one I
know the best.
They were happy to see me. Even Pops showed his pearlies.
They were surprised to see me. They didn’t expect the lady to
roll up. Hah!
It was nice that they were happy to see me. It left a warm fuzzy
feeling in da heart. They were talking about me. I talk
about them so why shouldn’t they talk about me? Because they
aren’t supposed to care about me, that’s why. Again with the
self-demoralizing subconscious beliefs. Somewhere deep inside me
is the belief that people don’t care about me as much as I want them to
or as much as I care about them. So to talk about me, about
whether or not my presence will be present and then to discuss it with
Babi’s Pops is warm and fuzzable for me. I know it shouldn’t
be. I know I should expect them to talk about me just as I talk
about them and their exploits, but try telling that to my subconscious?
Chalk one up for the African Woman…”she go say, she go say i be lady-o”