no matter what you think, the course of existence is what it is. 
the boy was always meant to marry a Sikh woman from his region. 
that is the plan set up by his family and that is the course that he
chose to follow.  i happened to walk across his path, happened to
be in the vicinity for a bit and happened to see something worth
stopping for and somehow (on my own cognizance) found myself a
meaningful part of his life.  crossing paths makes for great
movies and horrible realities sometimes.

you think to yourself about the “what ifs” in life and after you ponder
them for a bit, you realize that you always have to come to the “and
nows” because that’s what you have left.  “What ifs” are great
from a theoretical, “I need to work through some of this space” but
after a bit there’s nothing else you can do.  the “what ifs” don’t
change into “and nows”.  so you stop dwelling on them b/c you have
“what nows” that you must deal with.

much later you can sometimes reflect on your morosity and think that it
was a good thing that the “what if” never materialized.  or you
are just able to accept that it wasn’t meant to be and as sad as it may
superficially seem, it’s not as bad as you think/feel.


About papillion

Intense Often Moody Transparent Exquisitely sensitive Animated Never satisfied Curious Eternal Romantic Creative Devotedly Christian Encouraging Multi-layered Loving Quick Judge Critical Forever evolving View all posts by papillion

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