The Bible says that I must always be able to give account of my faith. And there’s nothing like being roped into a discussion on evolution and creationism to ruin my day. Why? Because I feel like I’m running a gauntlet. Somehow or other whenever I’m around certain types of people I end up having to discuss my faith. Now most people wouldn’t have a problem with that if they had all the answers. And you know what? I don’t. I don’t even have half the answers.
Carbon dating versus literal aging of the world by counting through the years of the Bible? Did the sun really stay in its place like the Bible says? The Old Testament God versus the New Testament God–are they the same? What about slavery? Does the Bible really say that God is “omnicient”?
Why can’t I believe what I believe and not have people question me all the time? I’m at Basic Christianity 101–Jesus Christ is my Savior. He’s my God. How can I live a life that pleases Him? Instead I end up in these conversations where my mind is scrambling to find ways to explain my belief system. If anything it makes me feel inadequate and useless. I’m not ashamed of my faith–I just don’t feel like I have enough to answer the doubters. Stuff that should be basic for me but isn’t.
I feel like I’ve spent so much of the past few years just trying to get my mind, soul and spirit together and now what I have to do is to defend my faith with people who want to say that it’s possible God could have used evolution to create man. How in the world do I answer that? I don’t know enough about evolution to know how to answer that query. And so I stand there, desperately wishing that I could just lay down something huge–anything so that I don’t look like I don’t know my own belief. So that people won’t look at me and say that I don’t know what I’m believing and that how can I say what I say without proper evidence? How can I represent God this way?
I think I’m going to cry.