just breathe…

espresso and anxiety do not go well together.

my CAMC exam is next Friday and i’m jittery.  i need to pass this exam!  no choice!  and i don’t have any study partners anymore so i end up studying by myself which is lonely and sometimes demoralizing.  it’s saturday night.  i just went to Saturday Night Live service at church and i was so anxious the whole time.  i think that when you’re in the presence of God stuff just shows itself more so.

i’ve been through this one too many times to know that God will accomplish His work as long as I believe in Him.  It is by faith that I live.  so even though i haven’t studied as much as i’ve wanted to/should have for a variety of reasons, I must continue to trust that everything will work itself out as God has intended and that anxiety is lack of trust in God.

so what makes this also a little more unbearable is that most people don’t study on Saturday nights.  and one of the people i used to hang out with is gone to another city.  another person i don’t hang out with anymore.  so now i’m feeling on da lonely side.  this happens when i study.  i don’t want to spend the whole day studying and i haven’t.  but the thought of putting in another 2 hours or so makes me want to vomit.  i am so SICK of studying.  i just want to waltz into an exam having studied minimally and have all things occur right for me.  but i can’t.  i have to put time and effort into everything that i do.  ain’t that the way of life though?

all will be well.  in fact, all is well.

About papillion

Intense Often Moody Transparent Exquisitely sensitive Animated Never satisfied Curious Eternal Romantic Creative Devotedly Christian Encouraging Multi-layered Loving Quick Judge Critical Forever evolving View all posts by papillion

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: