happiness is not an option

said my attending Dr C.  he reminds me of John Cleese.  not
in his face but in his height (long thin legs) and sardonic outlook.

at least two of my icu patients are on their way to death.  the
rest are fair to middling.  when i’m there rounding, it doesn’t
feel quite so bad.  it’s when their families come in and i see
them holding hands with the patient or standing around or staring at us
that i realize how important this is.  these are men and women who
had productive, creative, destructive, all kinds of -ive lives and now
they exist b/c we plugged them up to a ventilator.  we monitor
their electrolytes, their drips, their I&Os.  we order xrays,
MRIs, consults, duo-tubes, abgs, oob, feeds.  and it’s all about
getting them out of there ASAP. 

i spent some time sending posties tonight.  tomorrow is the
ballet.  apparently pgh ballet is so poor they can’t afford an
orchestra so a tape will be providing accompaniment.  wow. 
that’s POOR!


About papillion

Intense Often Moody Transparent Exquisitely sensitive Animated Never satisfied Curious Eternal Romantic Creative Devotedly Christian Encouraging Multi-layered Loving Quick Judge Critical Forever evolving View all posts by papillion

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