a good friend of mine once told me that i don’t rest in my dreams; i expend more energy in them than during the day. i laughed but it’s true.
i’ve never had non-vivid dreams. all my dreams come attached with deep emotions. most of the time they are incredibly vivid with colors/tastes/smells that overwhelm me. i wake up feeling as if i have lived more in my dreams than in real life. as if real life is muted somehow.
i have heard that artsy/creative people often have striking dreams.
it is hard to describe the intensity of my dream states.
hard to understand them. hard to fully express how they leave me feeling–drained, keyed up, confused, at odds with the world. it is hard to explain how difficult it is to release them–let them go. it is as if my emotions are so strong that they can only fully be in my dreams.
i do not understand them. sometimes they are beautiful, sometimes horrid, occasionally lurid.
at other times impressions and imprints.
i have decided to catalogue my dreams. they are too much to be kept hidden–locked up.
now i pour them into the anonymous space of the net. in this way i leave them outside of myself.
and do not carry them.