payment summary

i graduated yesterday from medical school. 

it’s been a good weekend.  i didn’t cry.  i was afraid i would miss my Mommy so much that i would weep buckets; but luckily for me the healing has been completed.  i miss her terribly though, just not to the point that i am paralyzed by pain.  and that’s good.

my Aunties showed up Saturday and i’m so glad they did.  My boy Ibrahim showed up Saturday too and I’m so glad he could come out.  sunday was chill and take the Aunties and Ibrahim around town.  Monday, uncles and another auntie as well as Daddy and his wife all showed up. Daddy and his wife took me, WP and Ibrahim out to eat lunch and which was a bit odd for me.  I didn’t know how I would feel being around them.  I didn’t want to feel awkward.

rest of the day was spent chewing the cud with Ibrahim as we are wont to do whenever we are thrown together.  it’s nice to have people in your life who understand you so thoroughly and accept you for what you are.  comfortable people.  slip back into a certain mode that i forget about when i’m around folks i just met.  folks who haven’t been around long. 

did i mention that i don’t want to retrain more people?  i wish sometimes that people just took the time to get to know you instead of the other way around.  i think i’m too extroverted for my own damn good.  i’m not sure how i can dampen that.  i think in Miami i’ll be happier if cool people pursue me instead of the non-cool people pursuing friendships with me or me trying to get to know cool people.  it’s a lot of work.  do i want that kind of work?

why do so many people assume that it’s easy for me to make friends?  my curiosity about people leads me to ask questions and then listen.  yes, i genuinely care about people but does that mean i don’t have to work at getting to know people?   i just sit there and people fall into my lap like so many ripe mangoes???  my friend ML and I discuss this from time to time–that people in general assume that what someone does well comes naturally.  what they don’t understand is that while an innate talent exists for doing certain things, a person must hone that talent into a skill.  in short you gotta work it.  so compliment me on my honing skills.  it’s not all that easy being me.

do i complain too much?  what is the problem?  maybe i’ve just been in a certain emotional space for too long. 


About papillion

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