the world is a strange place.
i spent today with patients. i came home and found myself at a loss. i was by myself, in my apt. sitting on my futon, wondering what made me out of sorts. was it the upcoming trip to ATL to see my bro perform and my anxieties about my “glam” level? was it the fact that i was contemplating starting a new diet regimen and worn out from thinking about my weight? was it the always working, never resting aspect of my lfe along with its associated go-go-go mentality? was it the presence of loud, annoying music in big cars holding little egos outside my apt in the parking lot? was it the general dinginess of the apt complex, complete with sometimes functioning elevator and drug dealers? was it the knowledge that loans need to be paid and i’m not able to save as much money as i need to pay off the credit card bills faster so i can be free of that horrific debt? was it the fact that my huge 30th birthday bash has turned into a bust secondary to lack of funds/time? was it the fact that i missed having people around me who knew me and with whom i could just be?
or perhaps a combination of all the above?