on awards and such

i am on call tonight.  tonight also happens to be the senior graduation/awards assembly for the program.  there were three awards possible: resident of the year (for each class), attending of the year and voluntary faculty of the year.

i was one of the possibles for the intern of the year; alas i lost.  the 2nd year i’m working with tonight is especially disappointed as she noted that the winner does not have as good a work ethic and is rather bothersome (constantly late and intrusive).  

i was disappointed as well b/c it’s nice to be given an award for doing well and it’s been years since i last received any kind of award (back in high school).  it dawned on me that the 3 people who won awards were all similar–white/hispanic, quieter personalities with at first glance, very cool demeanors.  one of them i like, the other two–well, that’s a different story.

one of the current chief residents wanted the intern of the year award when she was in my place three years ago and did not receive it.  she also happens to be my closest friend in Miami.  i have been informed by multiple people that they see me as a future chief resident.  i am not sure that my personality works well with the attendings in this program.  not to say that i don’t get along with them but i surely can not be completely open with them.  there is one in particular whom i don’t like.  it makes it hard for me to work well around people i don’t like.  i’m a work in progress.

oddly enough this officially marks a change in the way i have been interacting with the program as a whole.  i had been very gung ho about the program and into making a difference.  unfortunately i jumped in too quickly w/ too much enthusiasm and too high expectations and was brought down–whoosh!

i have been slowly disentangling myself from the bowels of the program.  i have been pulling back.  hanging out less and less with other residents.  spending more and more time away from the hospital.  not going out to as many drug rep dinners.  not hanging out with spanish speaking residents who forget i speak english and speak spanish all the time–even when i am there.  doing more with people outside of the program.  doing more on my own.  

i was one of the class reps this past year and i will not be one next year.  in fact it is my goal to be civil, gracious, kind and affable with other members of my class and the program but not to be more than acquaintances.  i will listen more and talk less.  follow more and lead less.  ask more questions and reveal less.  keep my enthusiasm, happiness, laughter and joy for people who can appreciate it and respond likewise.  in doing this there is the strong possibility of making myself ‘incognegro’.  of saving my smiles for those who respond to me.  of being particular of my sunshine.  that would not be completely right.  why? b/c it’s often the people who need encouragement who don’t seem to respond to it at first.  

i suppose all i am saying is that i need to be wiser about how i deal with people; without losing my transparency.

the devotional from Charles Swindoll today was about continuing to encourage if you are an encourager–which i believe i am.  

ON PATTING BIRDS
by Charles R. Swindoll

Hebrews 6:10

In a cartoon strip some years ago a little guy was taking heat from his sister and friends for a newly found “calling”—patting birds on the head. The distressed birds would approach, lower their little feathered pates to be patted, sigh deeply, and walk away satisfied. It brought him no end of fulfillment—in spite of the teasing he took from others. “What’s wrong with patting birds on the head?” he wanted to know. “What’s wrong with it?” his embarrassed friends replied, “No one else does it!”

If your niche is encouraging, please don’t stop. If it is embracing, demonstrating warmth, compassion, and mercy to feathers that have been ruffled by offense and bruised by adversity, for goodness’ sake, keep stroking. Don’t quit, whatever you do.

I think many Christians are dying on the vine for lack of encouragement from other believers. Proverbs 15:23 says, “A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word!” Isn’t that true? It’s a delightful thing to receive a good word just at your time of need. Encourage someone today.\u003c/p\>\n\u003cp align\u003d\”center\”\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#000000\” color\u003d\”#000000\”\>\u003cem\>If God made you a “patter,” then keep on patting to the glory of God.\u003c/em\>\u003c/font\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#000000\” color\u003d\”#000000\”\>\u003cbr\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\u003cp align\u003d\”center\”\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#000000\” color\u003d\”#000000\”\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#052753\” color\u003d\”#052753\”\>\u003cem\>\u003c/em\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#000000\” color\u003d\”#000000\”\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/td\>\u003c/tr\>\u003c/table\>\u003c/font\>\n\u003cp align\u003d\”center\”\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#33ccff\” color\u003d\”#33ccff\”\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#052753\” color\u003d\”#052753\”\>\u003cem\>\u003c/em\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#000000\” color\u003d\”#000000\”\>\u003c/font\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#33ccff\” color\u003d\”#33ccff\”\>\n\u003cp align\u003d\”center\”\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#000000\” color\u003d\”#000000\”\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#052753\” color\u003d\”#052753\”\>\u003cem\>\u003c/em\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#000000\” color\u003d\”#000000\”\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/font\>\n\u003cblockquote\> \u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#33ccff\” color\u003d\”#33ccff\”\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”color:#33ccff\” color\u003d\”#33ccff\”\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/blockquote\>\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont style\u003d\”font-size:80%;color:#000000\” color\u003d\”#000000\” size\u003d\”1\”\>Taken from Charles R. Swindoll, \u003cem\>Day by Day with Charles Swindoll \u003c/em\>(Nashville: W Publishing Group, 2000). Copyright © 2000 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights reserved. Used by permission.\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\u003cp\> \u003c/p\>\n\u003cp\> \u003c/p\>\n\n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n\u003c/p\>\u003c/td\>\n\u003c/tr\>\n\u003c/table\>\u003cimg src\u003d\”http://www.insight.org/site/PixelServer?j\u003dkNi5a33ALUlhrBRAZtzyVg..\” height\u003d\”1\” width\u003d\”1\”\>\n \u003c/td\>\n \u003c/tr\>\n \u003ctr\>\n \u003ctd valign\u003d\”top\”\>\u003cspan style\u003d\”padding-top:0px\”\>\u003cimg src\u003d\”http://www.insight.org/images/ddeleftfooter.jpg\”\>\u003c/span\>\u003c/td\>\n \u003c/tr\>\n\u003c/table\>\n\u003c/td\>\u003ctd width\u003d\”12\”\>\u003c/td\>\n \u003ctd width\u003d\”217\” valign\u003d\”top\”\>\u003ctable width\u003d\”159\” border\u003d\”0\” cellpadding\u003d\”0\” cellspacing\u003d\”0\”\>\n \u003ctr\>\n \u003ctd width\u003d\”151\” valign\u003d\”top\” align\u003d\”right\”\>\u003ctable width\u003d\”151\” cellpadding\u003d\”0\” cellspacing\u003d\”0\” border\u003d\”0\”\>\n \u003ctr\>\n \u003ctd align\u003d\”right\” valign\u003d\”top\” style\u003d\”padding-bottom:0px\”\>\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\u003ctable width\u003d\”151\” cellpadding\u003d\”0\” cellspacing\u003d\”0\” border\u003d\”0\”\>\n\u003ctr\>\n\u003ctd\>\n \n \u003ctable width\u003d\”151\” cellpadding\u003d\”0\” cellspacing\u003d\”0\” border\u003d\”0\” bgcolor\u003d\”#5b7ab1\”\>”,1]
);

//–>

If God made you a “patter,” then keep on patting to the glory of God.

and the past two devotionals from God Calling have been about being righteous and doing what is right in the face of unrighteousness as was seen in Noah and his family.  so for me, that’s encouragement.  have i felt that this program is unrighteous? absolutely.  am i on par with Noah?  nope.  but am i called to be a light?  like all Christians the answer would be yes.

it’s timely reminders like these from an omnicient God who tells me that it’s not about awards/public recognition but about living a life that glorifies God.  it’s about knowing that God, who rewards all, sees all and knows all.  

it’s about patting the birds; not stroking the egos (mine included)

About papillion

Intense Often Moody Transparent Exquisitely sensitive Animated Never satisfied Curious Eternal Romantic Creative Devotedly Christian Encouraging Multi-layered Loving Quick Judge Critical Forever evolving View all posts by papillion

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: