i feel like a grinch.

my Christmas tree is not up yet
i have decorations but they aren’t on the tree.
i bought a large silver bow to tie onto my front grill but there’s no way to wrap it around
so i put it on my clinic door and i hope no one steals it like they did my candle warmer and candle – sigh
my front door is decorated w/ green shiny wrapping paper and a jingle bell wreath
my other wreath was stolen last year – sigh

i love Jesus and i’m so glad He came to save me – and this is one of the most beautiful times of the year…YET…

it makes me sad. 

i realize how much i miss my Mommy during these special occasions.
she used to wake up early in the AM and make spinach stew w/ mushrooms and beef and we would eat it w/ boiled yams.
then in the evening we would eat joloff rice, stew, turkey, potato salad and both pumpkin and sweet potato pie.
this time of year – every year – i can’t get as jolly as i once did
when i go back up north w/ the snow, cold, dreary and dark days where you can’t tell if it’s 9AM or 2PM; it makes my heart hurt even more.
i have to find ways to fill up the time – have to find ways to be busy so i don’t have time to think….

about the would haves, could have beens, maybe if onlys, what in the world am i gonna do nows


About papillion

Intense Often Moody Transparent Exquisitely sensitive Animated Never satisfied Curious Eternal Romantic Creative Devotedly Christian Encouraging Multi-layered Loving Quick Judge Critical Forever evolving View all posts by papillion

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