“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”
Plato never said a truer word than this. I found out today that a colleague is struggling with her marriage. Being from southeast Asia, her marriage was arranged. She didn’t meet her husband more than 3 times before they decided to tie the knot. For the first 3 years of her marriage, his parents lived with them. According to her, they were filthy, selfish and manipulative — in particular the mother-in-law. The father-in-law had been silenced by years of abuse and sat there w/ his head hanging and his eyes downcast. After trying to placate them for 3 years, she finally had it and demanded they leave the house, which they did. To her chagrin, her husband saw nothing amiss and after receiving some unhappy phone calls from his mother is now desirous of them living with him again. Per my colleague, the mother in law is so manipulative that her husband and his sister no longer speak secondary to her machinations. After he got married, they packed up their bags and came to live with them (unexpected). The kicker? She is now at a stalemate with both her husband and her mother in law. After everything the mother in law did, she refuses to have them back at the house. And the kicker? All of this current drama began recently, after he received his green card (through her of course).
I have another friend from southeast Asia who married at a young age because his parents pressured him into doing so and is now living in a house with his parents (overbearing father and timid mother), his (wild and out of control, getting into fights and being suspended) younger brother and his pregnant wife whom he does not love. He has no college degree and spends his days as a clerk at a gas station. He has always been cast as the “goat” of the family and so has never felt supported by them. He does not go out much because of his wife’s censure and has limited interaction with people outside of his immediate family and the clients who frequent the gas station. I don’t know how he spends his nights when he goes home other than eating and watching tv.
Then there’s the college friend whose marriage dissolved after some horrendous discoveries about her ex-husband’s sexually deviant antics on the internet.
Another high school friend whose fiance’s child has gone off the deep end, is constantly in trouble with the law, has gone AWOL multiple times and is breaking her father’s heart and hers as well.
In comparison, the fact that I have to study for Step 3; I do not have a job lined up after my residency and my car has decided not to start pales in comparison…