So, I just got off a chat. I’ve had chats for years. Been insulted, flattered, proposed to, ignored, shouted at, cursed whatever. And I just got off a chat wherein the discussion ended up being about politics. They do say never to discuss politics and religion right? So, somehow it ends up being about socialism and how it’s not Christian and how the state has become a god. Whoa. Then he wanted me to read an article he wrote. It’s midnight-ish and I’ve spent the entire day w/ my head wrapped in medicine. I have NO desire to sit and discuss such potentially deep subjects. I’m trying to be nice and say – you know, I’m tired and you’re throwing facts and all this stuff around and I just can’t deal with it right now.
He even asked me if I thought God’s Spirit was in the Dem party? I asked him if he thought The Lord’s Spirit was in the Rep party? He says “that’s not the question”. Really? I believe that both sides are off. He tells me to admit that liberalism is dead and that in my definition the state has become god. Whoa – wait, my head is spinning.
I won’t say that liberalism is dead and I never said that the state was god. I said that Christians have forfeited their responsibilities in many ways but that doesn’t make the state a god, nor does it mean that the state can’t try to help its people. He says welfare creates poverty. I say it’s an imperfect system that needs to be reworked so that others can be helped.
I know he got angry, said something to the effect that “I’ve spent time thinking, writing on a subject that you seem to know nothing about.” So what does this have to do w/ anything? There are a thousand subjects that I have never pondered and that doesn’t make what he does any less important. Okay, and has he spent time thinking about psychiatric patients or what it’s like to be a doctor? Has he spent time thinking about being an immigrant child working to live a better life or about death/grieving/bereavement? Maybe he has but if he hadn’t, would I be upset? Nope, I would just realize it’s not a part of his reality.
Or maybe he’s upset b/c my lack of interest in his work made him feel less than? When your world is full of something and persons who are also into those somethings I’m sure it can be a bit of a shock to the system when you encounter someone else who seems to be blissfully unaware of your somethings!
He abruptly tells me that he needs to go and that it’s been nice chatting w/ me. I get the feeling he won’t be chatting w/ me again. And you know what, it’s my fault. I IM’d him just to see how he was doing, that’s all. A “howdy, how ya been. Glad to hear it, light chit chat about holidays/thanksgiving and then goodnight”. Somehow it turned into one of those rolling snowballs that you can’t quite control and you watch as it picks up speed and no matter how you try to derail it, it moves on undaunted?
So now I’m like wait, what, how did this turn into something crazy? And I’m a bit annoyed.
Is it b/c I have spent so many years involved w/ medicine, having it insulate me to the point that I’m not used to vigorous discussion? Or is it that my intent was not to have a deep philosophical discussion on politics and religion? Or is it more so that internet chatting doesn’t lend itself to the intricacies of human communication? Or is it that I feel I made myself vulnerable by even contacting him in the first place so this feels like a complete rejection of me based on apparent lack of knowledge about an issue?
I doubt he will contact me through email or flirt with me. I get a sense that the door has just been shut, resoundingly in my face. If I hadn’t contacted him tonight or asked him one innocent question about a newspaper and its values, this conversation would have never taken place. I won’t be upset that I contacted him or asked that question b/c it allowed for that knowledge to flow. I have to tell myself that though, LOL, sigh.
I think it’s time I laid low on the dating websites, not even using them as pleasant diversion. I become too eager to see who has viewed me, flirted w/ me, emailed me etc. It’s a distraction I don’t need right now!
Okay, so after typing this out, looking for appropriate images and then editing it, I feel MUCH MUCH better! Times like this I realize just how wonderful is this blog of mine! Thank you IndMy for letting me vent!